Thursday turned in to Friday and with that it was my birthday. Meanwhile I had been chatting to this guy online, filling the late night with random banter.
Two days later he is cautious in doing so but declares what he believes to be a state of ‘in love’ with me. Between my ventures in to the night with friends who fulfilled a need of which I am so grateful for, humbled almost, I spoke with him online.
Before I dismiss how brilliant a time I had on my birthday, I am most grateful for my friends turning up and my mother for cooking with love hearty home meals. They made me laugh, we talked of ridiculous and probably vile stuff, we laughed some more, drank and ate, and were merry. The following night we drank in the city centre and ended up at a bar before returning back to mine, in what has come to be known as The Party Bedroom. I gave it that title by the way, and I don’t think anybody has referred to it in such a way.
So anyway, the guy was online. This one’s from Greece. There’s something about a connection like that that is ever so surreal and endearing in equal measure. I don’t love him and I think it’s absurd for him to think he loves me after just a couple of days, but damn is it nice to have somebody appreciate me like that.
For four weeks now, I’ve been changing my state of mind through my stomach and through abstaining from blatant self destruction and I feel the benefits. I’m on a spiritual path, through a couple of friends’ help, they’re guiding me somewhat.
I feel so positive, loved, appreciated and I’m back on my way to feeling whole again.
Now, just need to stop missing him, after I locate my feet back on the ground.
He’ll be gone soon, I think. But that doesn’t make me sad.
I just don’t want him to go yet.