I came across a couple of articles on Vice today that made me outwardly daydream, pondering about my life while the sunshine’s heartbeat became my own. I do love Vice magazine; it goes against the grain, reporting on issues that we probably wouldn’t come across otherwise. The journalism has been slated upon occasion but I respect that it brings to us a form of news that isn’t an organsied mass of bred fear. I loathe traditional news stations; we as a human race are becoming aware of just how corrupt the higher powers are. I mean there are conspiracies and then there is truth via the ever enlightening medium of social media. Take for instance the protests in Turkey that are currently sweeping their nation, mass or regular news outlets only tell us a fraction of what’s going on, whereas indie outlets profess as close to the truth as there is to actually being there. I try not to let myself get overtook by such mass hysteria, I find alternative outlets to read a balanced view of what is actually going on before making any rash opinions. Mostly, I feel there is an agenda by the beings above us, a small minority who for hundreds, possibly thousands, of years have planned to control the minds of the mass. I digress.
Beyond the troubles that are blighting some countries, these articles made me look inwards, humbled by such goings-on in the world.
Around the world, oppression still exists and it drains my energy. It isn’t even happening to me but it takes the wonder out of life, just temporarily, before I sit up and repeat my daily mantras. The first article is lovely, sad somewhat but made me think of how people have to fight to be who they are, despite being born that way.
Anyway, I’ve lost the flow.
Last night was spent with Mr Greek (not his real name). He’s a sweetheart and reflects the repression I see in myself, particularly at his age. We fear being ourselves and why? I inform that although it’s nobody’s business, you’ll be more free if you just face the truth, because it chases you wherever you go. On the bus in to work, in your social circle, with family and even in your dreams. I think it’s supped a little bit of life out of me, living a double life. At first it was exciting, but now it’s just exhausting. This is the sole reason as to why I want to work abroad. I think a new setting will allow me to be who I am from the get go and will eventually allow me to come to terms with how I’m going to express just who I am to my nearest and dearest. This double life doesn’t rule my being, but it’s certainly always there and I don’t know who I am without it. Which f I saw happening to somebody else, would make me a little sad for them.